I need a plan...

As I open my eyes and greet another day, I struggle to feel excited or enthusiastic about what lies ahead.  In my head, there are ideas of what our future as a family could be full however, today I cannot visualise it happening.

I feel flat...defeated...disillusioned...trapped.  I cannot see a future of excitement. Instead all I see is a future of mediocre where nothing changes.  A world where life trundles along however we miss the opportunities because we fail to act.  It is too safe to stay 'as is' rather than step out of the comfort zone and go for something more.  My head cannot process the 'how can it work' to match in with the dream.  It just doesn't seem possible.

There are days when I wish that God could 'enlighten' me a little more.  Actually, a lot more.  Right now I need a step-by-step guide to the days and months ahead that lead me through the decision making.  If only I would wake up to find this guide sitting on the kitchen table.   My mind is tired of the constant thinking of the decisions to be made and not knowing which way to go.  The actions swing like a pendulum from side to side and with this comes indecision, confusion and frustration.

I know that God has this covered and that this season we are experiencing has a purpose.  However, the decisions that we have to make are not easy ones as they will affect our family and our future.  His timing is perfect.  The doors will open as they need to.  It is that 'Little Miss I Need A Plan" doesn't cope well when a firm direction is not available.  So it looks like stepping into faith mode needs to be activated.  

What about you?  Are there days when life is so confusing and overwhelming that you just cannot see what lies ahead?   

Cheers,

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Restless Soul

It is there. It does not leave. It taunts my mind, tests my patience, tosses my soul as though it is a feather in the breeze.  Continually challenging my thoughts and pushing me to seek more.  I am tired, exhausted from this constant searching to find my way.  After years of searching at times it feels as though I am no closer.  I feel just as far away as I have always been.  Who is me?  Why has God put me here?  What do I have to offer this world?

The problem is that I can do so much.  The ideas whiz around the head with a multitude of possible directions to take.   This morning I have prayed for this ongoing restlessness to cease.  The constant search is exhausting - mentally, emotionally and physically.

Today, I started the day differently.  I chose to start with fresh air and sunshine in the hope that I may be inspired by such glorious spring weather.  Clear the mind and renew the senses!  I returned home to a hot cuppa and devotion and as I opened my bible to Job here come these words...

Job  33:14 "For God does speak - now one way, now another - though man may not perceive it."

and then...

Job 33:  31 - 33 "Pay attention, Job and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak.  If you have anything to say, answer me, speak up, for I want you to be cleared.  But if not, then listen to me, be silent and I will teach you wisdom."

How often we feel the need to control our direction when perhaps what we need is simply to listen.  To stop analysing and searching and wait for the answer.  'Ask and you shall receive' we are told however, I probably often ask but then Little Miss Impatient shows up and forgets about the waiting to receive.  

This amazing God who knows so much more than I do, can handle so much more than I can and who is so loving, forgiving and generous.  I know that His plan is better than mine ever could be and that when I go off on my wild, outlandish dreams, he is there to reign me in and bring me back on track with gentle hands and love.  Perhaps this is my time to sit down, be quiet, listen and continue the rediscovery!

Cheers,