When the hurt and sadness overwhelms

The tears well up until the eyes cannot hold them back any longer. You sit curled up in the corner of your room, clinging to the last ounce of self-worth that is in you.  In your mind you are wishing, longing, hoping that what is happening is not real.  That somehow you will wake up and this will all have been a dream.... a bad dream.

Life is not always easy.  I recently watched my son go through a relationship breakdown.  It was heartwrenching as a parent to watch this precious child of yours who you love with all your heart, crumble as the one they loved so dearly, pulls away from them.  You watch them like a hawk, anxiously monitoring their moves, their mood and their headspace. You can see and feel their pain.  You wish you could take it away and bear it on their behalf.  However you know that they must endure this to grow.  When they emerge, they will be stronger, more resilient and will have connected more with their inner self than ever before.  What he thought he wanted was gone.  As the days and weeks passed by, I cried an ocean of tears for my boy.  I wanted to scoop him up like I did when he was little and scrapped his leg.   To wrap my arms around him and tell him it will be okay.  There were moments when I did.  Times when he was so broken and the emotions so raw and deep, that all he wanted was comfort.  Nights where I hovered in protection mode, cuddled him in the lowest times and encouraged him to replace the negative thoughts with those of a positive future.

A few years ago a sudden change on the job front was the trigger for me.  Unemployed and struggling to come to terms with what I had deemed an utter and disasterous failure on my behalf.  I blamed myself for so much and thought that I had absolutely nothing to offer this world.  Now, I am so passionate about a new direction for my life that I cannot wait for the day to start and am full of excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead.

If you are struggling right now in your life, hang on.   Triggers can be relationship breakdowns, loss of your job, death of a loved one, feelings of hopelessness and many more.   Whatever you face, I am here to tell you there is hope, there is a light shining and leading the way.  

However, to reach the other side you must take action.  You have to fight.  This battle is against your mind and while you allow it to keep you in the negative, the darkness has won.  I shared with my son how I beat the darkness and I would love to share it with you.   It takes courage and determination but it can be done...

1.  LET GO - one of the hardest things to do but it is the only way you can move forward.  You have to come to the point where you let go of the past.  To do this, you may need to remove reminders that twist the knife until you are stronger.   This might be a gift or photo that just brings back the hurt and reminds you constantly of what was.   In some cases, you may need to cut communication channels with those who are at the centre of the hurt.  The more your think about them or try to remain in contact, the longer the hurt stays.  Accept that in our lives there are seasons and some seasons must pass.  Look forward and focus on the future rather than trying to hang on to the fragments of yesterday.

2.  FORGIVE - over time learn to forgive those who hurt you.  Understand that forgiveness gives you freedom and release.  It helps you to move past the hurt, the grief, the pain and find a new perspective on life.

3.  BE POSITIVE - fill your world with positivity and surround yourself with people and things that are positive in your life.  Hang with your friends, kick back with your favourite music, pull out that long forgotten favourite hobby and get back into it.   Replace what was with what can be. 

4. CHERISH FAMILY & FRIENDS - your precious friends are here to help and support you.  Sometimes they will tell you things you don't want to hear.  They will be honest with you and they do it to help you.  Take on board what they tell you.

5.  BELIEVE - that God did not put you on this earth to be miserable.  He wants you to be fulfilled and loving life.  However, he knows that there will come times when you will be challenged and you may end up questioning yourself on the deepest level.  From challenging times comes growth.  This is when we can truely discover ourselves and what we are capable of.    God allows you to experience the lows for he knows that it is from these points that we learn the most, we grow and we allow him to mould us.  I remember coming to a point where I said 'enough' and I made a promise to myself that I would not allow self-pity, fear, self-doubt to rule my life any longer.  I believed I was made for greater things than that and this was my time to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and fly higher than ever before.

6.  SEEK HELP - if you are feeling overwhelmed by all that has happened and are struggling to pick up the pieces and rebuild, seek professional help.  Do not be ashamed to admit that you cannot do this on you own.  Having a non-biased professional to talk with can be one of the best things for releasing the pain, the hurt and overcoming the underlying issues that are keeping you in the pit of despair.

A few months on and I have a different child.  My son is returning and I can see a spring in his step, a cheekiness in his smile and the spark is there in his eyes.  It has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride but I am so proud of how he has worked through his feelings, the emotion and come out the otherside with a positive outlook for his future.    I cannot express how amazed I am at his transformation from misery to happiness.

You can too...just hang on, trust that you will come through this and if you need it, please, please, please,  seek professional help to work through the thoughts, emotions and get strategies on how to cope through this season of change.

Love,

When the blessings flow

Life is not always easy or as we think it should be.   If I was totally honest, I would have said that at 45, I would be soaking up rays on a beach in the carribean, being served by Daniel Craig, while George Clooney massages my feet.  Oh, and did I mention not having to be anywhere at anytime?  Reality is, I am sitting at a desk in rural Queensland, cooking my own meals and still running from one end of town to the other doing family things, work stuff and whatever else is thrown at me.  Not quite the same.

Regardless, the blessings flow.  God has granted me good health, two wonderful sons who are generous, gentle and sensitive.  A husband who tolerates my many mad ideas, lets me run with them and reigns me in if getting too 'out there'.  He is supportive, encouraging and many years ago contributed to 'releasing the monster' from within the shy, timid young woman who had no self confidence.

Image source: bookbabie.com

My family amaze me.  Their resilience during tough times, their faith in God, their ability to see light in many dark situations, their humour and the amazing times we have together.  The days and nights of laughter that would see many being taken to the lunatic asylum, instead I recall these as some of the best times.

Friends...that over the years are more like family.  Those who no matter how long between visits, it only feels like yesterday.  The friends that you can openly share over a cuppa the joy, laughter and tears.  The friends who know how it feels to struggle with parenting and worrying that you have stuffed it all up.  The friends who are prepared to question you, challenge you and at the same time stand beside you during the bad days.

I am blessed.  Today, I thank God for all the blessings that he has poured out on my life.  I also ask for forgiveness for when I fail to see to wonderful people that he has put before me and take them for granted.  Life is so much more than just about material things.  It is about people.  Those precious human beings that come in to our lives, contribute so much and then unfortunately, we say goodbye.  In some cases the goodbye is way too soon.  Other times, we are given many years together where moments become cherished memories.

Take the time today to thank God for the people he has placed in your life.  I truely believe that not one person is before you without his touch.  Just stop and say thanks, for you are blessed.

Love,

 

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

No Coffee Required

Image: lipmag.com

For those that know me, it is probably a little obvious that I have come to enjoy a good cup of coffee.  Just a smidge, just a little, just a lot!

I blame my husband.  It's his fault.  He finally converted me around five years ago as he wanted someone to enjoy a coffee with - go figure?  It started off weak and it needed sweetening for it was so bitter to taste.  As the years have progressed so has my 'taste' for the almighty caffeine.  Now I have it strong and sugar is for the weak.   It is a welcome substance for days where simply getting your feet from bed to floor is a challenge. When opening your eyes, your mind says 'do it' but your body is still soaking up the rays on a beach in the mediterranean where Brad Pitt is serving you coffee and giving you a neck and shoulder massage.   

The past 24 hours have been eye opening for me - where an 'A-Ha' moment has surfaced.  Where I have gone from confusion to clarity - it is amazing! Recently, I committed myself to a journey that is truely identifying my deepest desires and direction for the future.  It is making me dig deep to get to know my inner self, my values, my secret ardent desire.  

The more I understand myself, the more confident and capable I become.  It gives me freedom to be who God designed to be.  To believe that I can achieve greatness.  To pursue what makes me happy and to do with no regrets, no hangups, no limits!   I can see a high coming and it is not going to be from a caffeine fix.  It is an all natural one - no coffee required.  What I thought was my direction is quickly changing to a new one.  Not too far removed - with just a 'jump to the left and a step to the right', I am discovering and acknowledging where my heart leads. 

I have found a straight talking woman who is leading me to find my authentic self. She pulls no punches and challenges me on my perfectionism, procrastination and limiting beliefs.  She gives me a kick in the derriere when I need it and tells me to push harder, dig deeper and do it with vigor.  My passion is unfolding, my dreams are becoming visions and my heart is once again climbing, no, rocketing skywards towards a place where I am 'high' on life itself.

What about you?  Are you stumbling around in the dark trying to find clarity for your direction.  Maybe it's the forties, mid-life crisis thing happening - although I am definately not at the point of tossing the hubby aside, buying a sports car and disappearing off into the sunset.  It is more about seeking a path that resonates on a deep level within me.

Join me as I unravel this new direction, take action and work with women who too are struggling to find their 'natural high'.  This is just the beginning.

Regards,

 

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Leap of Faith

That chasm is huge, the bottom unseen, the distance across too far for a mere mortal.  To even contemplate it is madness.  There is no reason to act and are plenty of reasons not to take that step.  It requires a leap of faith.

Image source: guardian.co.uk

In the past week we have seen Felix Baumgartner leap from the edge of space back to earth.  A feat that one would say is impossible, yet he has proved otherwise.  As he sat in the capsule for two hours, slowly rising to the desired height for the jump, I wonder what the conversations running through his mind were?  If it was me, it would have included, "What on earth possessed you?",   "You are going to die!",  "Next time you have a brilliant idea, ignore it!".

While in my life, I am not about to leap from the edge of space, change is coming and I am not sure how I feel about it.  This unexpected change, a scenario that had never played out in my head before, has presented itself leaving my husband and I have to make a decision regarding our future employment. 

It is hard to imagine at times life outside of what we have become comfortable with.  A life in a new town, new job, new school for our son - lots of new things.  Now the thought of moving had been discussed however, the way in which this has arisen was not discussed.  A sudden change in job security and here is an opportunity to make change.

For us, we are so uncertain as to the right decision to make as we look at the impact on our life and family that any move would have.  It feels like this giant chasm has opened up and we can choose to take that leap of faith into the unknown or we can stay on the edge looking over and always wondering what life would be like 'if '.  This one is going to require a whole lot of faith to achieve what at times feels like the impossible.  To make the leap, we feel as though there is so much that must fall into place.  Much that we would say would seem impossible but we all know that sometimes, the impossible becomes possible with faith.

Perhaps it is time.
Perhaps we should.
Perhaps we shouldn't.

A life of no regrets....will this be one?   We are looking at this with a positive mindset and searching for what amazing opportunity lies before us however, that ever so comfortable position of staying where you are is also appealing.

Will we leap across that chasm or will be still be standing at the edge wondering 'what if '?  Time will tell.

Days of Doubt

I'm not good enough for this!  Ever said that to yourself?  Have you ever doubted your abilities, potential, strength, courage?  I can tell you that I definately have and at times, still do.  I have my ups and downs - days of doubt - when you are convinced that you are working well outside your zone and just want to crawl back into that safe, comfortable spot where life just trundles along and you feel at ease with all that you have to do.

What I have come to realise is that with God, there is no safe zone.  He will challenge you and make you step into areas that are unfamiliar, uncomfortable and certainly at the time, unwanted.  Every aspect in you life he can choose to challenge you with.  These challenges are not to be feared but to be welcomed.  Why?  For it is through the tough, uncomfortable, unfamiliar times, that God teaches you to have self-belief, to have courage, to have strength, to have trust and most of all to have faith that he knows best.  

We cannot survive on our own.  Without faith, I would have crumbled some time ago and it is this faith that enables you to face the fiercest of battles, the strongest of foes and the days of doubt.  Faith that someone, bigger and stronger than you already knows the outcome.  He knows how long you will endure it, he knows the doubt you will feel, he knows that the tears will be there and with his strength, you will come out the other side.

For many the battle may be only beginning, for others you may be in the midst of it all and feeling overwhelmed.  Stand firm, believe, trust and have faith that God, the same God that calmed the seas and healed the sick, is standing beside you - he has your back!   Face those days of doubt head on and work through the challenge one day at a time.

Love,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Restless Soul

It is there. It does not leave. It taunts my mind, tests my patience, tosses my soul as though it is a feather in the breeze.  Continually challenging my thoughts and pushing me to seek more.  I am tired, exhausted from this constant searching to find my way.  After years of searching at times it feels as though I am no closer.  I feel just as far away as I have always been.  Who is me?  Why has God put me here?  What do I have to offer this world?

The problem is that I can do so much.  The ideas whiz around the head with a multitude of possible directions to take.   This morning I have prayed for this ongoing restlessness to cease.  The constant search is exhausting - mentally, emotionally and physically.

Today, I started the day differently.  I chose to start with fresh air and sunshine in the hope that I may be inspired by such glorious spring weather.  Clear the mind and renew the senses!  I returned home to a hot cuppa and devotion and as I opened my bible to Job here come these words...

Job  33:14 "For God does speak - now one way, now another - though man may not perceive it."

and then...

Job 33:  31 - 33 "Pay attention, Job and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak.  If you have anything to say, answer me, speak up, for I want you to be cleared.  But if not, then listen to me, be silent and I will teach you wisdom."

How often we feel the need to control our direction when perhaps what we need is simply to listen.  To stop analysing and searching and wait for the answer.  'Ask and you shall receive' we are told however, I probably often ask but then Little Miss Impatient shows up and forgets about the waiting to receive.  

This amazing God who knows so much more than I do, can handle so much more than I can and who is so loving, forgiving and generous.  I know that His plan is better than mine ever could be and that when I go off on my wild, outlandish dreams, he is there to reign me in and bring me back on track with gentle hands and love.  Perhaps this is my time to sit down, be quiet, listen and continue the rediscovery!

Cheers,

 

Worth the Fight

Life is tough...it's not what you had thought it would be. You are angry, you are frustrated, you are unhappy in some part or maybe all of your life. Ask yourself why? What changed?? It wasn't always this hard. There had been years of easy times, not perfect, just easier. Remember back to when you had a smile to share and laughter filled your soul. When the pressures and challenges were manageable and less often. Those days are still there you just can't see them at the moment.

As we grow older, the challenges appear to be more frequent and stronger. We look back to years of youth thinking how wonderful they were and wishing that life was that simple once again. However, we can't live in the past what we have to deal with is the now. The now may be hard, it may hurt but you have the power to rise to the challenge and fight for what you want in this life. Perhaps a relationship is breaking down, perhaps the job is coming to an end, perhaps the kids are screaming and you wonder how on earth you ever ended up in this mess. These times just seem to happen and can come from what appears to be nowhere. It could be a sudden, unexpected change or it could be a series of little niggles that has turned into a festering, ugly situation where there appears to be no hope.

You are worth the fight. Your relationship is worth the fight. Your children are worth the fight. Stand up and claim the goodness that God has for you. The happiness that awaits you once again. Grab hold of what brings joy to your heart or a smile to your face. One moment, every day - remember it, claim it. Fight.

Fight against the mindset that we are fed continually or that negativity that has crept in over the years. No more will you let heartache, anger, sorrow, worry or frustration rule your life. Perhaps you and your attitude needs to change to find that peace again. Our mind can control our hearts and we have to ensure that we are being reasonable in our expectations, accept that we are not always right, we are human, we have faults and that it takes compromise and compassion.

No matter what you are facing today, there is hope. God has the power and the strength to see this one through, even when you don't. God doesn't want you to live a miserable life - he wants only the best for you however it is up to us to accept this, embrace it and run with that belief in our hearts.

Another Cup fo Life Please

Every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best and with my ever faithful Nespresso machine, I select the level of caffeine hit required, heat up some milk, then sit back and enjoy the end result.

In life, it isn't quite as simple. We cannot select our life, we have opportunties but not always choices. We do not choose to have cancer, heart attacks, forced transfers or even disabilities. We can however choose how we deal with the events as they unfold.

I remember when my husband had a heart attack (he was only 43) - it certainly wasn't what he chose nor was it my choice, we had no control over the situation. It was one that we had to deal with, face the fear, trust the doctors, trust God more and wait. In that situation we could have chosen to crumble or rise to the challenge. As I waited during his surgery, I prayed and I cried. It was a time that I will never forget and there were many beautiful and emotional moments with my God as I relied on him like never before.

If we could just brew up the perfect life, I believe it would be one of weakness. How many of us would actually welcome adversity. Not many I suspect. Yes, life can be tough but from adversity comes growth and from challenge comes strength. Be they life changing moments or coping with changes in life - it all has purpose. The challenges and adversity are our 'caffeine hit' that bring the deepest parts of our being to life.

As another year comes to a close and new one starts, lets remember that in life we need strength. So instead of another half strength flat white, let's make it full strength. My prayer for you is that you embrace the challenge, discover new strengths and become resilient and confident no matter what comes your way in 2012.

Cheers,
Lynnelle

Winds of Change

Change. Do you go with the flow or resist? Do you fight change with every breath in your body or do you accept and move on? Change is inevitable. It will happen today, tomorrow and always. Change sweeps through a workplace, a home, a life. It can be life changing, frustrating or motivating.

I read once that it is all about the Cheese. When the cheese moves we need to move too, just like the mouse. This little nose can sniff out the cheese no matter where it goes to. It acknowledges that the cheese is no longer where it was and that to find the cheese, one must move.

Change comes in many different forms and what initially can be upsetting for some can turn to opportunity. A few years ago my cheese moved. It was unplanned, unexpected and unwanted at the time. As a result I was shaken and stirred into action. An action that would not have happened if the cheese did not move. As I look back now I can see that the moving of the cheese brought opportunity not loss. It was a period of growth (however difficult at times) and has opened doors towards a future that would not be there had I stayed in the same place, doing the same thing. I was in a rut, I needed to escape but was unable to make that decision so God made the decision for me.

In the book "Fearless" written by Max Lucado (my absolute favourite author), he speaks of how God changes our assignments. In doing so he is preparing us to change the world. Isn't that exciting! If you are experiencing change or feel that change is in the wind...don't be afraid. Embrace it and enjoy it as the winds of change sweep through your life. While you may not see purpose at the time, remember that God has everything under control. Just sit back and wait for the new direction that is enfolding for your life.

Photo from: Dipity.com

Year of Favour

I awoke early this morning and the brain kicked in as soon as the eyes opened. There is a stirring in my soul to rise, a small voice that says get up and share a cuppa with me. So, I grabbed my bible, a cuppa and sat in the stillness of the morning. As I opened my bible, the pages fell to Isaiah 61 and the words ring true to me as the morning sun rises to at the start of a new day.

This is the year. After three years of waiting, I feel that there is going to be something different this year. That gift that Jesus has promised - perhaps it is finally time to open it!

Isaiah tells me the it is the Year of the Lord's Favour. What a blessing to read this! I have felt that my journey is to motivate and inspire and have spent the last three years at times feeling like I am wandering around in the wilderness. Perhaps it wasn't the wilderness but more of a training ground. When I stop and think about what this means, I also hear the words "who are you to do this?"
I don't know the how, the where or the when but that doesn't matter. For what I do know is that if my God has said it, I believe it and it will be.

Are you heading into a year of favour? Are you listening to that small voice that talks softly, leading you and loving you. Take the time to spend a quiet cuppa with God and see what he reveals to you. Once the seed is planted, he will nourish it and prepare you for what he is calling you to do. Have patience and a year of favour will be upon you!

Brand New Day

I am not perfect, never was and never will be. However, no matter what happened yesterday, the day before, two years ago, twenty years ago, it doesn't matter today. Today is a brand new day! Every sin, worry, anxiety, upset no longer comes into play as I open my eyes to greet a new morning. I am making a conscious decision not to worry or be anxious about what could be. From this point forward I am working on what is and not the what if.

How? I am forgiven. Not by just anyone, but by God. The only one who can forgive me for all past hurts and my faults (of which there are many). Today, I am feeling blessed that I can face a new year with vigor and excitement as my future is full of endless opportunities. It will be another full year as I wave goodbye to my eldest son as he leaves the nest, watch another son graduate from Year 10, pursue some dreams, support my husband, celebrate my parents 40th Anniversary and share precious moments with family and friends.

So celebrate the arrival of 2012 with me where dreams can come true, wrongs are forgotten and an abundance of love is shared all round!

Another Cup of Life Please

Every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best and with my ever faithful Nespresso machine, I select the level of caffeine hit required, heat up some milk, then sit back and enjoy the end result.

In life, it isn't quite as simple. We cannot select our life, we have opportunties but not always choices. We do not choose to have cancer, heart attacks, forced transfers or even disabilities. We can however choose how we deal with the events as they unfold.

I remember when my husband had a heart attack (he was only 43) - it certainly wasn't what he chose nor was it my choice, we had no control over the situation. It was one that we had to deal with, face the fear, trust the doctors, trust God more and wait. In that situation we could have chosen to crumble or rise to the challenge. As I waited during his surgery, I prayed and I cried. It was a time that I will never forget and there were many beautiful and emotional moments with my God as I relied on him like never before.

If we could just brew up the perfect life, I believe it would be one of weakness. How many of us would actually welcome adversity. Not many I suspect. Yes, life can be tough but from adversity comes growth and from challenge comes strength. Be they life changing moments or coping with changes in life - it all has purpose. The challenges and adversity are our 'caffeine hit' that bring the deepest parts of our being to life.

As another year comes to a close and new one starts, lets remember that in life we need strength. So instead of another half strength flat white, let's make it full strength. My prayer for you is that you embrace the challenge, discover new strengths and become resilient and confident no matter what comes your way in 2012.