When the hurt and sadness overwhelms

The tears well up until the eyes cannot hold them back any longer. You sit curled up in the corner of your room, clinging to the last ounce of self-worth that is in you.  In your mind you are wishing, longing, hoping that what is happening is not real.  That somehow you will wake up and this will all have been a dream.... a bad dream.

Life is not always easy.  I recently watched my son go through a relationship breakdown.  It was heartwrenching as a parent to watch this precious child of yours who you love with all your heart, crumble as the one they loved so dearly, pulls away from them.  You watch them like a hawk, anxiously monitoring their moves, their mood and their headspace. You can see and feel their pain.  You wish you could take it away and bear it on their behalf.  However you know that they must endure this to grow.  When they emerge, they will be stronger, more resilient and will have connected more with their inner self than ever before.  What he thought he wanted was gone.  As the days and weeks passed by, I cried an ocean of tears for my boy.  I wanted to scoop him up like I did when he was little and scrapped his leg.   To wrap my arms around him and tell him it will be okay.  There were moments when I did.  Times when he was so broken and the emotions so raw and deep, that all he wanted was comfort.  Nights where I hovered in protection mode, cuddled him in the lowest times and encouraged him to replace the negative thoughts with those of a positive future.

A few years ago a sudden change on the job front was the trigger for me.  Unemployed and struggling to come to terms with what I had deemed an utter and disasterous failure on my behalf.  I blamed myself for so much and thought that I had absolutely nothing to offer this world.  Now, I am so passionate about a new direction for my life that I cannot wait for the day to start and am full of excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead.

If you are struggling right now in your life, hang on.   Triggers can be relationship breakdowns, loss of your job, death of a loved one, feelings of hopelessness and many more.   Whatever you face, I am here to tell you there is hope, there is a light shining and leading the way.  

However, to reach the other side you must take action.  You have to fight.  This battle is against your mind and while you allow it to keep you in the negative, the darkness has won.  I shared with my son how I beat the darkness and I would love to share it with you.   It takes courage and determination but it can be done...

1.  LET GO - one of the hardest things to do but it is the only way you can move forward.  You have to come to the point where you let go of the past.  To do this, you may need to remove reminders that twist the knife until you are stronger.   This might be a gift or photo that just brings back the hurt and reminds you constantly of what was.   In some cases, you may need to cut communication channels with those who are at the centre of the hurt.  The more your think about them or try to remain in contact, the longer the hurt stays.  Accept that in our lives there are seasons and some seasons must pass.  Look forward and focus on the future rather than trying to hang on to the fragments of yesterday.

2.  FORGIVE - over time learn to forgive those who hurt you.  Understand that forgiveness gives you freedom and release.  It helps you to move past the hurt, the grief, the pain and find a new perspective on life.

3.  BE POSITIVE - fill your world with positivity and surround yourself with people and things that are positive in your life.  Hang with your friends, kick back with your favourite music, pull out that long forgotten favourite hobby and get back into it.   Replace what was with what can be. 

4. CHERISH FAMILY & FRIENDS - your precious friends are here to help and support you.  Sometimes they will tell you things you don't want to hear.  They will be honest with you and they do it to help you.  Take on board what they tell you.

5.  BELIEVE - that God did not put you on this earth to be miserable.  He wants you to be fulfilled and loving life.  However, he knows that there will come times when you will be challenged and you may end up questioning yourself on the deepest level.  From challenging times comes growth.  This is when we can truely discover ourselves and what we are capable of.    God allows you to experience the lows for he knows that it is from these points that we learn the most, we grow and we allow him to mould us.  I remember coming to a point where I said 'enough' and I made a promise to myself that I would not allow self-pity, fear, self-doubt to rule my life any longer.  I believed I was made for greater things than that and this was my time to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and fly higher than ever before.

6.  SEEK HELP - if you are feeling overwhelmed by all that has happened and are struggling to pick up the pieces and rebuild, seek professional help.  Do not be ashamed to admit that you cannot do this on you own.  Having a non-biased professional to talk with can be one of the best things for releasing the pain, the hurt and overcoming the underlying issues that are keeping you in the pit of despair.

A few months on and I have a different child.  My son is returning and I can see a spring in his step, a cheekiness in his smile and the spark is there in his eyes.  It has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride but I am so proud of how he has worked through his feelings, the emotion and come out the otherside with a positive outlook for his future.    I cannot express how amazed I am at his transformation from misery to happiness.

You can too...just hang on, trust that you will come through this and if you need it, please, please, please,  seek professional help to work through the thoughts, emotions and get strategies on how to cope through this season of change.

Love,

Wake up and feel woeful

Blah!  That just about sums up how I feel today.  The sore throat, the congested head.  Looks like a fluey bug has finally found a place to live for a few days.

So much that I want to do or should be doing however I certainly don't feel like doing anything.  Client meetings will have to be cancelled, jobs delayed all because of this dreaded bug.  Here I was last night thinking I was feeling better and then to wake up this morning feeling worse than I went to bed.

It is easy to go into overwhelm looking at that growing to-do list and start wondering how I will catch up as one day out feels like you become a week behind.  One thing I have learnt over the past few years is not to worry.  Worry gets you nowhere....except high anxiety, stressed out, unable to enjoy life and unable to cope.  

A wise man once said...

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself..." 

- Matthew 6:34

So today, I am going to curl up with a snug blanket, a warm cuppa, a couple of cold tablets and a comfy pillow.  If I feel better later, I might just return to the office and see if my head is able to comprehend text, decifer code and find some element of creativity for my clients.

Cheers,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Meltdown Moments

I will be the first to admit it.  Coffee is my friend.  It may not be my best friend but it sure comes close some days.  You know the ones, the days where simply opening your eyes is a chore.  The ones that you can feel from the moment your feet hit the floor that it is going to be like bootcamp for the next 16 hours until you're comfortably curled up in bed once again.

It is in these days that I find solace at the bottom of the cup.  Now sometimes it is not really days, perhaps mere moments where everything becomes too much.  Where rescuing just one more odd sock from the jaws of the dog is too much.  Days when the shop assistant really should have offered you a neck and shoulder massage rather than informing you that a carrier pidgeon would have a better chance of getting that urgent order here on time.

We all have meltdown moments where the smallest thing is disasterous, the world as you know it has no meaning and that rock in your backyard looks like the best place to crawl under and hide from the rest of the world.  It is easy to lose your cool and you pity the poor person who is in the wrong place at the wrong time, for they are on the receiving end of an outburst of frustration that would put you as a hot contender for an Oscar.

It's okay.  These moments happen and sometimes they are spectacular.  Whatever the reason, whatever the frustration, whatever the problem, while it may knock you down you need to get back up.   From one who has been there, accept that you have had your 'meltdown moment',  gather yourself and rise above.  Now, for my family it means pour mum a coffee, give her space and eventually she will be mum again.

Cheers,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Days of Doubt

I'm not good enough for this!  Ever said that to yourself?  Have you ever doubted your abilities, potential, strength, courage?  I can tell you that I definately have and at times, still do.  I have my ups and downs - days of doubt - when you are convinced that you are working well outside your zone and just want to crawl back into that safe, comfortable spot where life just trundles along and you feel at ease with all that you have to do.

What I have come to realise is that with God, there is no safe zone.  He will challenge you and make you step into areas that are unfamiliar, uncomfortable and certainly at the time, unwanted.  Every aspect in you life he can choose to challenge you with.  These challenges are not to be feared but to be welcomed.  Why?  For it is through the tough, uncomfortable, unfamiliar times, that God teaches you to have self-belief, to have courage, to have strength, to have trust and most of all to have faith that he knows best.  

We cannot survive on our own.  Without faith, I would have crumbled some time ago and it is this faith that enables you to face the fiercest of battles, the strongest of foes and the days of doubt.  Faith that someone, bigger and stronger than you already knows the outcome.  He knows how long you will endure it, he knows the doubt you will feel, he knows that the tears will be there and with his strength, you will come out the other side.

For many the battle may be only beginning, for others you may be in the midst of it all and feeling overwhelmed.  Stand firm, believe, trust and have faith that God, the same God that calmed the seas and healed the sick, is standing beside you - he has your back!   Face those days of doubt head on and work through the challenge one day at a time.

Love,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Restless Soul

It is there. It does not leave. It taunts my mind, tests my patience, tosses my soul as though it is a feather in the breeze.  Continually challenging my thoughts and pushing me to seek more.  I am tired, exhausted from this constant searching to find my way.  After years of searching at times it feels as though I am no closer.  I feel just as far away as I have always been.  Who is me?  Why has God put me here?  What do I have to offer this world?

The problem is that I can do so much.  The ideas whiz around the head with a multitude of possible directions to take.   This morning I have prayed for this ongoing restlessness to cease.  The constant search is exhausting - mentally, emotionally and physically.

Today, I started the day differently.  I chose to start with fresh air and sunshine in the hope that I may be inspired by such glorious spring weather.  Clear the mind and renew the senses!  I returned home to a hot cuppa and devotion and as I opened my bible to Job here come these words...

Job  33:14 "For God does speak - now one way, now another - though man may not perceive it."

and then...

Job 33:  31 - 33 "Pay attention, Job and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak.  If you have anything to say, answer me, speak up, for I want you to be cleared.  But if not, then listen to me, be silent and I will teach you wisdom."

How often we feel the need to control our direction when perhaps what we need is simply to listen.  To stop analysing and searching and wait for the answer.  'Ask and you shall receive' we are told however, I probably often ask but then Little Miss Impatient shows up and forgets about the waiting to receive.  

This amazing God who knows so much more than I do, can handle so much more than I can and who is so loving, forgiving and generous.  I know that His plan is better than mine ever could be and that when I go off on my wild, outlandish dreams, he is there to reign me in and bring me back on track with gentle hands and love.  Perhaps this is my time to sit down, be quiet, listen and continue the rediscovery!

Cheers,

 

Worth the Fight

Life is tough...it's not what you had thought it would be. You are angry, you are frustrated, you are unhappy in some part or maybe all of your life. Ask yourself why? What changed?? It wasn't always this hard. There had been years of easy times, not perfect, just easier. Remember back to when you had a smile to share and laughter filled your soul. When the pressures and challenges were manageable and less often. Those days are still there you just can't see them at the moment.

As we grow older, the challenges appear to be more frequent and stronger. We look back to years of youth thinking how wonderful they were and wishing that life was that simple once again. However, we can't live in the past what we have to deal with is the now. The now may be hard, it may hurt but you have the power to rise to the challenge and fight for what you want in this life. Perhaps a relationship is breaking down, perhaps the job is coming to an end, perhaps the kids are screaming and you wonder how on earth you ever ended up in this mess. These times just seem to happen and can come from what appears to be nowhere. It could be a sudden, unexpected change or it could be a series of little niggles that has turned into a festering, ugly situation where there appears to be no hope.

You are worth the fight. Your relationship is worth the fight. Your children are worth the fight. Stand up and claim the goodness that God has for you. The happiness that awaits you once again. Grab hold of what brings joy to your heart or a smile to your face. One moment, every day - remember it, claim it. Fight.

Fight against the mindset that we are fed continually or that negativity that has crept in over the years. No more will you let heartache, anger, sorrow, worry or frustration rule your life. Perhaps you and your attitude needs to change to find that peace again. Our mind can control our hearts and we have to ensure that we are being reasonable in our expectations, accept that we are not always right, we are human, we have faults and that it takes compromise and compassion.

No matter what you are facing today, there is hope. God has the power and the strength to see this one through, even when you don't. God doesn't want you to live a miserable life - he wants only the best for you however it is up to us to accept this, embrace it and run with that belief in our hearts.

Another Cup fo Life Please

Every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best and with my ever faithful Nespresso machine, I select the level of caffeine hit required, heat up some milk, then sit back and enjoy the end result.

In life, it isn't quite as simple. We cannot select our life, we have opportunties but not always choices. We do not choose to have cancer, heart attacks, forced transfers or even disabilities. We can however choose how we deal with the events as they unfold.

I remember when my husband had a heart attack (he was only 43) - it certainly wasn't what he chose nor was it my choice, we had no control over the situation. It was one that we had to deal with, face the fear, trust the doctors, trust God more and wait. In that situation we could have chosen to crumble or rise to the challenge. As I waited during his surgery, I prayed and I cried. It was a time that I will never forget and there were many beautiful and emotional moments with my God as I relied on him like never before.

If we could just brew up the perfect life, I believe it would be one of weakness. How many of us would actually welcome adversity. Not many I suspect. Yes, life can be tough but from adversity comes growth and from challenge comes strength. Be they life changing moments or coping with changes in life - it all has purpose. The challenges and adversity are our 'caffeine hit' that bring the deepest parts of our being to life.

As another year comes to a close and new one starts, lets remember that in life we need strength. So instead of another half strength flat white, let's make it full strength. My prayer for you is that you embrace the challenge, discover new strengths and become resilient and confident no matter what comes your way in 2012.

Cheers,
Lynnelle

New Eyes To See

Often we fail to see what is right in front of us. We are so caught up in our own small part of the world that we lose sight of the struggles that surround us. In 2012, may I see the needs in those around me. Please Lord, give me new eyes to see!

Another Cup of Life Please

Every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best and with my ever faithful Nespresso machine, I select the level of caffeine hit required, heat up some milk, then sit back and enjoy the end result.

In life, it isn't quite as simple. We cannot select our life, we have opportunties but not always choices. We do not choose to have cancer, heart attacks, forced transfers or even disabilities. We can however choose how we deal with the events as they unfold.

I remember when my husband had a heart attack (he was only 43) - it certainly wasn't what he chose nor was it my choice, we had no control over the situation. It was one that we had to deal with, face the fear, trust the doctors, trust God more and wait. In that situation we could have chosen to crumble or rise to the challenge. As I waited during his surgery, I prayed and I cried. It was a time that I will never forget and there were many beautiful and emotional moments with my God as I relied on him like never before.

If we could just brew up the perfect life, I believe it would be one of weakness. How many of us would actually welcome adversity. Not many I suspect. Yes, life can be tough but from adversity comes growth and from challenge comes strength. Be they life changing moments or coping with changes in life - it all has purpose. The challenges and adversity are our 'caffeine hit' that bring the deepest parts of our being to life.

As another year comes to a close and new one starts, lets remember that in life we need strength. So instead of another half strength flat white, let's make it full strength. My prayer for you is that you embrace the challenge, discover new strengths and become resilient and confident no matter what comes your way in 2012.