Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The storm was building last week with a weather forecast of bleak, touches of frustration, building to sever eruption on Sunday night. Saturday was a good indication it was getting close with the recommendation to family that they seek shelter. Take bread and water and bunker down for when it hits, it's not going to be pretty. Hurricane Hormones struck land around 7.30pm last night and the wave of destruction was instantly felt by those in the vacinity.
So what led to the impact? In the previous week, I had struggled with client meetings, trip to specialist, naturopath, doctor plus the usual school and home goodies. Throw in some extra concerns about health and you have the perfect storm. Last night came the eruption of a week of worry, frustration, angst and so much more. The tears poured after what felt like another struggle and I retreated to my bedroom saying I can't do this anymore. After a couple of minutes, I decided to head outside into the dark for some quiet time alone. As I sat outside looking at the moon, tear rolling down my cheeks, I asked God, "why?" I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be wound up and stressed - I have forgotten how to relax. The brain is always thinking of what I could, should, would, can and won't do.
Within a few minutes the moon disappeared and as I continued to sit there in the dark looking at the sky, a shadow appeared where the moon was. It was the outline of an angel. At the same time the song, "How can I keep from singing your praise" enters my head. It is then that I realise that I am not alone and that there is a peace to be found in amongst all this. This shadow was there for about 5 minutes or so and then slowly faded.
Today, is a new day. I must make changes within myself and find ways to relax and switch off. I don't have to save the world or build a global empire. I have to learn to let go, to say 'no' and let others find their own way without taking on their problems. It won't be easy but it is possible. So today, I am setting a new direction now that Hurricane Hormones has disappated into light rain. With help, the Hurricane will never reach the height that it did last night. With help, the Hurricanes will come and go but never tip the boat over again. With peace, the seas will remain calm and all will return to what they should be within myself.
If you have a hurricane heading your way, take a step back and make the changes you need to protect yourself and those you love. Sometimes its not easy to make the changes that are needed. I know for me, it is going to take effort and conscious decisions to change my mindset and refocus but it can be done because I am not the only one on the job. God is walking with me every step and I just have to let go and stay in the calm waters.