Wednesday, April 17, 2013

When the hurt and sadness overwhelms

The tears well up until the eyes cannot hold them back any longer. You sit curled up in the corner of your room, clinging to the last ounce of self-worth that is in you.  In your mind you are wishing, longing, hoping that what is happening is not real.  That somehow you will wake up and this will all have been a dream.... a bad dream.

Life is not always easy.  I recently watched my son go through a relationship breakdown.  It was heartwrenching as a parent to watch this precious child of yours who you love with all your heart, crumble as the one they loved so dearly, pulls away from them.  You watch them like a hawk, anxiously monitoring their moves, their mood and their headspace. You can see and feel their pain.  You wish you could take it away and bear it on their behalf.  However you know that they must endure this to grow.  When they emerge, they will be stronger, more resilient and will have connected more with their inner self than ever before.  What he thought he wanted was gone.  As the days and weeks passed by, I cried an ocean of tears for my boy.  I wanted to scoop him up like I did when he was little and scrapped his leg.   To wrap my arms around him and tell him it will be okay.  There were moments when I did.  Times when he was so broken and the emotions so raw and deep, that all he wanted was comfort.  Nights where I hovered in protection mode, cuddled him in the lowest times and encouraged him to replace the negative thoughts with those of a positive future.

A few years ago a sudden change on the job front was the trigger for me.  Unemployed and struggling to come to terms with what I had deemed an utter and disasterous failure on my behalf.  I blamed myself for so much and thought that I had absolutely nothing to offer this world.  Now, I am so passionate about a new direction for my life that I cannot wait for the day to start and am full of excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead.

If you are struggling right now in your life, hang on.   Triggers can be relationship breakdowns, loss of your job, death of a loved one, feelings of hopelessness and many more.   Whatever you face, I am here to tell you there is hope, there is a light shining and leading the way.  

However, to reach the other side you must take action.  You have to fight.  This battle is against your mind and while you allow it to keep you in the negative, the darkness has won.  I shared with my son how I beat the darkness and I would love to share it with you.   It takes courage and determination but it can be done...

1.  LET GO - one of the hardest things to do but it is the only way you can move forward.  You have to come to the point where you let go of the past.  To do this, you may need to remove reminders that twist the knife until you are stronger.   This might be a gift or photo that just brings back the hurt and reminds you constantly of what was.   In some cases, you may need to cut communication channels with those who are at the centre of the hurt.  The more your think about them or try to remain in contact, the longer the hurt stays.  Accept that in our lives there are seasons and some seasons must pass.  Look forward and focus on the future rather than trying to hang on to the fragments of yesterday.

2.  FORGIVE - over time learn to forgive those who hurt you.  Understand that forgiveness gives you freedom and release.  It helps you to move past the hurt, the grief, the pain and find a new perspective on life.

3.  BE POSITIVE - fill your world with positivity and surround yourself with people and things that are positive in your life.  Hang with your friends, kick back with your favourite music, pull out that long forgotten favourite hobby and get back into it.   Replace what was with what can be. 

4. CHERISH FAMILY & FRIENDS - your precious friends are here to help and support you.  Sometimes they will tell you things you don't want to hear.  They will be honest with you and they do it to help you.  Take on board what they tell you.

5.  BELIEVE - that God did not put you on this earth to be miserable.  He wants you to be fulfilled and loving life.  However, he knows that there will come times when you will be challenged and you may end up questioning yourself on the deepest level.  From challenging times comes growth.  This is when we can truely discover ourselves and what we are capable of.    God allows you to experience the lows for he knows that it is from these points that we learn the most, we grow and we allow him to mould us.  I remember coming to a point where I said 'enough' and I made a promise to myself that I would not allow self-pity, fear, self-doubt to rule my life any longer.  I believed I was made for greater things than that and this was my time to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and fly higher than ever before.

6.  SEEK HELP - if you are feeling overwhelmed by all that has happened and are struggling to pick up the pieces and rebuild, seek professional help.  Do not be ashamed to admit that you cannot do this on you own.  Having a non-biased professional to talk with can be one of the best things for releasing the pain, the hurt and overcoming the underlying issues that are keeping you in the pit of despair.
A few months on and I have a different child.  My son is returning and I can see a spring in his step, a cheekiness in his smile and the spark is there in his eyes.  It has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride but I am so proud of how he has worked through his feelings, the emotion and come out the otherside with a positive outlook for his future.    I cannot express how amazed I am at his transformation from misery to happiness.

You can too...just hang on, trust that you will come through this and if you need it, please, please, please,  seek professional help to work through the thoughts, emotions and get strategies on how to cope through this season of change.


Thursday, April 11, 2013

When Girls become Princesses

She was a shy, Kindergarten Assistant living in England.  This young woman was plucked from an average job and plunged into a life of abundance.  She was groomed, styled, mentored in the right way to act, behave, present and be.  She was to be the future Queen  of England. Diana had what every girl dreamt of… the prince, the palace, the wardrobe to die for and imagine the shoe collection!

Her life was so different post marriage to that which she had known before.  Governed by rules, appointments and decorum, she presented faultlessly to the public.  In the latter years, her personal life wasn’t quite as rosy as one would expect but nevertheless, she had the eyes of the world upon her.

For those who walk with Christ, we are girls who became Princesses.  We have all the privileges of royalty.  We can walk with heads held high, draped in the robes of royalty and with a tiara firmly positioned on our head.  We are princesses.  We are chosen.

Our life is to walk as the King walked.  To help,  to serve,  to love,  to trust and to teach.  We won’t always get it right.  However, no matter what we do, we are forgiven.  Our King wields no harsh punishments, all he asks is for us to come and seek forgiveness.  He bore the punishment for us in an event that was so significant that it remains thousands of years after and one that is celebrated worldwide once a year.

What am amazing King we serve.  What an honour to be called a Princess.  What a way to live!


Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event

Friday, March 22, 2013

When the blessings flow

Life is not always easy or as we think it should be.   If I was totally honest, I would have said that at 45, I would be soaking up rays on a beach in the carribean, being served by Daniel Craig, while George Clooney massages my feet.  Oh, and did I mention not having to be anywhere at anytime?  Reality is, I am sitting at a desk in rural Queensland, cooking my own meals and still running from one end of town to the other doing family things, work stuff and whatever else is thrown at me.  Not quite the same.

Regardless, the blessings flow.  God has granted me good health, two wonderful sons who are generous, gentle and sensitive.  A husband who tolerates my many mad ideas, lets me run with them and reigns me in if getting too 'out there'.  He is supportive, encouraging and many years ago contributed to 'releasing the monster' from within the shy, timid young woman who had no self confidence.

Image source:
My family amaze me.  Their resilience during tough times, their faith in God, their ability to see light in many dark situations, their humour and the amazing times we have together.  The days and nights of laughter that would see many being taken to the lunatic asylum, instead I recall these as some of the best times.

Friends...that over the years are more like family.  Those who no matter how long between visits, it only feels like yesterday.  The friends that you can openly share over a cuppa the joy, laughter and tears.  The friends who know how it feels to struggle with parenting and worrying that you have stuffed it all up.  The friends who are prepared to question you, challenge you and at the same time stand beside you during the bad days.

I am blessed.  Today, I thank God for all the blessings that he has poured out on my life.  I also ask for forgiveness for when I fail to see to wonderful people that he has put before me and take them for granted.  Life is so much more than just about material things.  It is about people.  Those precious human beings that come in to our lives, contribute so much and then unfortunately, we say goodbye.  In some cases the goodbye is way too soon.  Other times, we are given many years together where moments become cherished memories.

Take the time today to thank God for the people he has placed in your life.  I truely believe that not one person is before you without his touch.  Just stop and say thanks, for you are blessed.



Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event

Friday, March 8, 2013

No Coffee Required

For those that know me, it is probably a little obvious that I have come to enjoy a good cup of coffee.  Just a smidge, just a little, just a lot!

I blame my husband.  It's his fault.  He finally converted me around five years ago as he wanted someone to enjoy a coffee with - go figure?  It started off weak and it needed sweetening for it was so bitter to taste.  As the years have progressed so has my 'taste' for the almighty caffeine.  Now I have it strong and sugar is for the weak.   It is a welcome substance for days where simply getting your feet from bed to floor is a challenge. When opening your eyes, your mind says 'do it' but your body is still soaking up the rays on a beach in the mediterranean where Brad Pitt is serving you coffee and giving you a neck and shoulder massage.   

The past 24 hours have been eye opening for me - where an 'A-Ha' moment has surfaced.  Where I have gone from confusion to clarity - it is amazing! Recently, I committed myself to a journey that is truely identifying my deepest desires and direction for the future.  It is making me dig deep to get to know my inner self, my values, my secret ardent desire.  

The more I understand myself, the more confident and capable I become.  It gives me freedom to be who God designed to be.  To believe that I can achieve greatness.  To pursue what makes me happy and to do with no regrets, no hangups, no limits!   I can see a high coming and it is not going to be from a caffeine fix.  It is an all natural one - no coffee required.  What I thought was my direction is quickly changing to a new one.  Not too far removed - with just a 'jump to the left and a step to the right', I am discovering and acknowledging where my heart leads. 

I have found a straight talking woman who is leading me to find my authentic self. She pulls no punches and challenges me on my perfectionism, procrastination and limiting beliefs.  She gives me a kick in the derriere when I need it and tells me to push harder, dig deeper and do it with vigorMy passion is unfolding, my dreams are becoming visions and my heart is once again climbing, no, rocketing skywards towards a place where I am 'high' on life itself.

What about you?  Are you stumbling around in the dark trying to find clarity for your direction.  Maybe it's the forties, mid-life crisis thing happening - although I am definately not at the point of tossing the hubby aside, buying a sports car and disappearing off into the sunset.  It is more about seeking a path that resonates on a deep level within me.

Join me as I unravel this new direction, take action and work with women who too are struggling to find their 'natural high'.  This is just the beginning.



Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

All I Ever Have to Be

Have you ever wondered what your purpose on earth is?  Have you ever really tried to understand why God made you the way you are?  I have, I do and have been doing so for the past few years.

As a child I had dreams, many of which where played out in childhood games.  I believe these dreams are our deepest desires coming to the surface.  It could be marriage and kids, travel, adventure or performing to the masses, whatever it was, it is part of you.

Over the past 3 years, I have asked myself lots of questions. Some I have found answers for and others, well, I am still searching and analysing.  Last night as I cooked tea for my hungry tribe, some words of a song that I haven't heard for years, came into the head.  "All I ever have to be is what you made me" - a song by Amy Grant from my years of youth.  Wow, where on earth did that come from?  It then dawned on me.  That is my answer.  

I now start to realise that I don't have to be what everyone else expects me to be.  I don't have to comply with what others may suggest is the right thing for me.  I don't have to be a certain way, I don't have to act like this or that.  What I do need to do is to be me.  Simply, utterly, completely me.  Just the way that God intended.  Where that leads, what comes as part of that journey is absoutely, totally fine.  

Being authentic and true to yourself is not always easy, particularly when you question who 'you' are.  For some of us, it can be a lifelong search and I think there is the risk that we will miss so much if we keep our head in this space for too long.  We will miss the magic of moments, the joy of life and the beauty that surrounds us in the form of family, friends and life in general. 

Sometimes I think we search too hard for answers.  We feel the need to be able to see years ahead but that is not real.  We can plan for the future and anticipate what might happen however,  we will never be able to see everything that lies ahead.  If your quest to discover yourself is in full steam or just leaving the station, can I ask you to do one thing?  Take a seat near the window and remember to look out and enjoy the view.  At every station, get out, stretch your legs and immerse yourself in your surroundings.  Whatever you do, don't stay sitting in your carriage wishing that you could be part of what was going on outside.  Stop over analysing and actually accept that all you have to be is who God made you to be. 


Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Emptying the Cupboard

The clock has just passed midnight and here I am still trying to get to sleep.  The body is weary however, to slip into a deep slumber seems impossible.

Do you have nights like this?  Nights when you are just so tired and desperately need a good night's sleep but the mind doesn't want to give in.  In years past, as my head hit the pillow I would be in la-la land.  Now, I lie hear listening to every noise, including that of a peaceful, sleeping, snoring husband while my mind is full of words, thoughts, ideas, tomorrow, next year!

It's not that I am worrying about anything in particular, there is just stuff in the head that won't shut down.  Where is that off switch when you need it!

Perhaps it is a sign of cleanout time.   A cleanout of the 'mental' cupboard which hoards so much 'stuff'.   You know, the place where all the bits and pieces from life are stored 'just in case' we need it again.  A place where good and bad baggage hibernates for years on end in the hope of seeing daylight once again. Aahhh, if I reach right back, yes the far back corner on the right, I am sure there are some items of interest that date back too many years to remember.  Some of these items are probably more like mouldy toast and belong in a toxic landfill.

Our mind is so powerful, so amazing yet we fill it with so much stuff that is of no further use or that which actually stops us from moving forward.   Our memories can be precious or hurtful and we generally find a mix of both tucked safely inside.   

So, today the emptying of the mind begins where only the useful stuff remains that is relevant and worthy.   I want to fill my head with positive 'stuff',  items of interest, growth, smiles, laughter and that are precious to me.  That mouldy toast is about to find a new home and will be waiting on the curb in the wheelie bin for the garbo man to move to a more suitable location.

What's filling up your mental cupboard?  Is it memories that make you stronger, positive and value yourself?  Or are they full of negativity and remind you of times when you felt worthless and insignificant?


Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Wake up and feel woeful

Blah!  That just about sums up how I feel today.  The sore throat, the congested head.  Looks like a fluey bug has finally found a place to live for a few days.

So much that I want to do or should be doing however I certainly don't feel like doing anything.  Client meetings will have to be cancelled, jobs delayed all because of this dreaded bug.  Here I was last night thinking I was feeling better and then to wake up this morning feeling worse than I went to bed.

It is easy to go into overwhelm looking at that growing to-do list and start wondering how I will catch up as one day out feels like you become a week behind.  One thing I have learnt over the past few years is not to worry.  Worry gets you nowhere....except high anxiety, stressed out, unable to enjoy life and unable to cope.  

A wise man once said...

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself..." 
- Matthew 6:34

So today, I am going to curl up with a snug blanket, a warm cuppa, a couple of cold tablets and a comfy pillow.  If I feel better later, I might just return to the office and see if my head is able to comprehend text, decifer code and find some element of creativity for my clients.


Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event