Monday, October 29, 2012

I need a plan...

As I open my eyes and greet another day, I struggle to feel excited or enthusiastic about what lies ahead.  In my head, there are ideas of what our future as a family could be full however, today I cannot visualise it happening.

I feel flat...defeated...disillusioned...trapped.  I cannot see a future of excitement. Instead all I see is a future of mediocre where nothing changes.  A world where life trundles along however we miss the opportunities because we fail to act.  It is too safe to stay 'as is' rather than step out of the comfort zone and go for something more.  My head cannot process the 'how can it work' to match in with the dream.  It just doesn't seem possible.

There are days when I wish that God could 'enlighten' me a little more.  Actually, a lot more.  Right now I need a step-by-step guide to the days and months ahead that lead me through the decision making.  If only I would wake up to find this guide sitting on the kitchen table.   My mind is tired of the constant thinking of the decisions to be made and not knowing which way to go.  The actions swing like a pendulum from side to side and with this comes indecision, confusion and frustration.

I know that God has this covered and that this season we are experiencing has a purpose.  However, the decisions that we have to make are not easy ones as they will affect our family and our future.  His timing is perfect.  The doors will open as they need to.  It is that 'Little Miss I Need A Plan" doesn't cope well when a firm direction is not available.  So it looks like stepping into faith mode needs to be activated.  

What about you?  Are there days when life is so confusing and overwhelming that you just cannot see what lies ahead?   


Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Leap of Faith

That chasm is huge, the bottom unseen, the distance across too far for a mere mortal.  To even contemplate it is madness.  There is no reason to act and are plenty of reasons not to take that step.  It requires a leap of faith.

Felix Baumgartner - leap from edge of space -
Image source:
In the past week we have seen Felix Baumgartner leap from the edge of space back to earth.  A feat that one would say is impossible, yet he has proved otherwise.  As he sat in the capsule for two hours, slowly rising to the desired height for the jump, I wonder what the conversations running through his mind were?  If it was me, it would have included, "What on earth possessed you?",   "You are going to die!",  "Next time you have a brilliant idea, ignore it!".

While in my life, I am not about to leap from the edge of space, change is coming and I am not sure how I feel about it.  This unexpected change, a scenario that had never played out in my head before, has presented itself leaving my husband and I have to make a decision regarding our future employment. 

It is hard to imagine at times life outside of what we have become comfortable with.  A life in a new town, new job, new school for our son - lots of new things.  Now the thought of moving had been discussed however, the way in which this has arisen was not discussed.  A sudden change in job security and here is an opportunity to make change.

For us, we are so uncertain as to the right decision to make as we look at the impact on our life and family that any move would have.  It feels like this giant chasm has opened up and we can choose to take that leap of faith into the unknown or we can stay on the edge looking over and always wondering what life would be like 'if '.  This one is going to require a whole lot of faith to achieve what at times feels like the impossible.  To make the leap, we feel as though there is so much that must fall into place.  Much that we would say would seem impossible but we all know that sometimes, the impossible becomes possible with faith.

Perhaps it is time.
Perhaps we should.
Perhaps we shouldn't.

A life of no regrets....will this be one?   We are looking at this with a positive mindset and searching for what amazing opportunity lies before us however, that ever so comfortable position of staying where you are is also appealing.

Will we leap across that chasm or will be still be standing at the edge wondering 'what if '?  Time will tell.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Worthy of Success

Tough day, negative thoughts and that ultimate question of why rings in your head.  The voices are speaking loud and clear and are determined to keep you down and put you back in the safe, little box that you have become comfortable with.   They taunt you with questions of...

"Who are you to have success",
"Why would anyone be interested in what you have to offer"
"You are just small and insignificant and there are others much better than you could ever be"

Are you hearing them?  Are you falling for the lies, deceit and propaganda that they are producing inside your mind?  I need you to do one thing...
The truth is that you are uniquely and beautifully made.  You have a purpose which you need to find and when you do, look out world for you will rise up and become an awesome warrior for your cause.  People will listen to you, they will want to talk to you, they will want to join you.
You are worthy of every success that comes your way however, it will take perserverence and commitment as these 'voices' are determined too.  They are determined to stop you from achieving your fullest potential as they want to rob you of all the amazing goodness and greatness that will come from it for you, your family and your friends.

Today, join me and print out my mantra, pin it on your wall and say it loud and proud every day.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Wishing you were here

Dear Dad,

I was only 18 months old when you left.  One morning you were there, you went to work and then never came home.  For me, I didn't understand the why.  I was way too young to even realise what had happened.  All I knew as a child was that my Dad, was here one day and gone the next.  It wasn't by choice.  Your time here with us had to end.

Growing up and even now as an adult, I often wonder 'what if'?   What if you were still here?  What would you be doing with your grandchildren?  Would you be proud of me?  Would we spend time together?   There is so much I want to tell you, show you and share with you.

I want to show you my achievements.  I want to hear your laugh.  I want to see you spend time with your grandchildren and teach them what you know.  I want to hug you and tell you how much you meant to me.

Over the years there have been many tears shed and many moment spent in wishful thinking.  Reality is that it will never be.  My memories of you are made from stories told by family and recollections of your friends.  There is one precious memory though, that message you wrote when I was scribbling on a piece of paper.  You remember, you wrote... "I love you".

Life can seem so cruel to a young child.  One who grew up with no self-confidence and clinging to her mother's apron in fear of losing her too.

I do hope that one day I get to see you again.  I get to wrap my arms around you and share with you all the amazing things that have happened and how I have been blessed in this life.

Your Daughter

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event