As I open my eyes and greet another day, I struggle to feel excited or enthusiastic about what lies ahead. In my head, there are ideas of what our future as a family could be full however, today I cannot visualise it happening.
I feel flat...defeated...disillusioned...trapped. I cannot see a future of excitement. Instead all I see is a future of mediocre where nothing changes. A world where life trundles along however we miss the opportunities because we fail to act. It is too safe to stay 'as is' rather than step out of the comfort zone and go for something more. My head cannot process the 'how can it work' to match in with the dream. It just doesn't seem possible.
There are days when I wish that God could 'enlighten' me a little more. Actually, a lot more. Right now I need a step-by-step guide to the days and months ahead that lead me through the decision making. If only I would wake up to find this guide sitting on the kitchen table. My mind is tired of the constant thinking of the decisions to be made and not knowing which way to go. The actions swing like a pendulum from side to side and with this comes indecision, confusion and frustration.
I know that God has this covered and that this season we are experiencing has a purpose. However, the decisions that we have to make are not easy ones as they will affect our family and our future. His timing is perfect. The doors will open as they need to. It is that 'Little Miss I Need A Plan" doesn't cope well when a firm direction is not available. So it looks like stepping into faith mode needs to be activated.
What about you? Are there days when life is so confusing and overwhelming that you just cannot see what lies ahead?
Cheers,
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