Thursday, February 28, 2013

Emptying the Cupboard

The clock has just passed midnight and here I am still trying to get to sleep.  The body is weary however, to slip into a deep slumber seems impossible.

Do you have nights like this?  Nights when you are just so tired and desperately need a good night's sleep but the mind doesn't want to give in.  In years past, as my head hit the pillow I would be in la-la land.  Now, I lie hear listening to every noise, including that of a peaceful, sleeping, snoring husband while my mind is full of words, thoughts, ideas, tomorrow, next year!

It's not that I am worrying about anything in particular, there is just stuff in the head that won't shut down.  Where is that off switch when you need it!

Perhaps it is a sign of cleanout time.   A cleanout of the 'mental' cupboard which hoards so much 'stuff'.   You know, the place where all the bits and pieces from life are stored 'just in case' we need it again.  A place where good and bad baggage hibernates for years on end in the hope of seeing daylight once again. Aahhh, if I reach right back, yes the far back corner on the right, I am sure there are some items of interest that date back too many years to remember.  Some of these items are probably more like mouldy toast and belong in a toxic landfill.

Our mind is so powerful, so amazing yet we fill it with so much stuff that is of no further use or that which actually stops us from moving forward.   Our memories can be precious or hurtful and we generally find a mix of both tucked safely inside.   

So, today the emptying of the mind begins where only the useful stuff remains that is relevant and worthy.   I want to fill my head with positive 'stuff',  items of interest, growth, smiles, laughter and that are precious to me.  That mouldy toast is about to find a new home and will be waiting on the curb in the wheelie bin for the garbo man to move to a more suitable location.

What's filling up your mental cupboard?  Is it memories that make you stronger, positive and value yourself?  Or are they full of negativity and remind you of times when you felt worthless and insignificant?


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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Wake up and feel woeful

Blah!  That just about sums up how I feel today.  The sore throat, the congested head.  Looks like a fluey bug has finally found a place to live for a few days.

So much that I want to do or should be doing however I certainly don't feel like doing anything.  Client meetings will have to be cancelled, jobs delayed all because of this dreaded bug.  Here I was last night thinking I was feeling better and then to wake up this morning feeling worse than I went to bed.

It is easy to go into overwhelm looking at that growing to-do list and start wondering how I will catch up as one day out feels like you become a week behind.  One thing I have learnt over the past few years is not to worry.  Worry gets you nowhere....except high anxiety, stressed out, unable to enjoy life and unable to cope.  

A wise man once said...

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself..." 
- Matthew 6:34

So today, I am going to curl up with a snug blanket, a warm cuppa, a couple of cold tablets and a comfy pillow.  If I feel better later, I might just return to the office and see if my head is able to comprehend text, decifer code and find some element of creativity for my clients.


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Thursday, February 14, 2013

Learning to Fly Again

You lie battered and bruised on the ground.  One would think that you have been hit by a truck and then it reversed over you just to make sure.  Every piece of your self-worth and confidence are lying shattered in a million pieces around you.  Tears roll down your cheeks as the initial shock hits.  Those words were cruel, actions uncalled for and well, it came like a bolt out of the blue with no warning.  Just when you were feeling good about yourself, just when you were starting to make progress - BAM!

So where to from here?   You can sit silently in the shadows waiting for someone to come past and pick you up, tell you it will all be okay and help you on your feet.  Is that what you want?  Is that what you need?   I remember feeling so worthless and fearful that I kept the blinds closed for weeks and was quite happy never to have to face the outside world again.  I could have easily been deemed a recluse and stayed safely tucked away from that big, bad world.  It was only there to hurt and I had experienced quite enough at that stage.

Over the next weeks I worked through those feelings, and yes I talked out loud to myself often.  God didn't miss out either.  I screamed, I shouted, I cried as this gamet of emotions poured out and all the hurt, disappointment and pain revealed itself.  Then something happened.  I made a mental note that all must change if I want to move forward.  No more sulking like a child in the corner, no more 'woe is me' attitude.  I needed to mend these broken wings and learn to fly again.

As I look back now, I can see that from pain and heartache comes growth.  It is in these times that we discover more about ourselves than we ever could from a lifetime of pure happiness and perpetual smiling.  God does this for a reason.  He knows that if our days are forever bright and sunny, we won't challenge ourselves and will 'gloss over' the areas that need improvement.  It is about learning more about what makes us tick and finding strength that we never knew we had.  For me, learning to fly has taken time and I still fall out of the nest sometimes however, God is there to pick me back up, put me back in the nest and whispers quietly, 'try again'.

Are you ready to mend your wings?  Have you had enough of hiding away in the shadows of hurt and pain?  Do you want to fly?  Reach out to the one who made you and knows every part of you, every dream, desire and deep seeded hurt.  All you have to do is ask and then take the first step of faith.



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Friday, February 8, 2013

Give me 30...

In just 30 minutes I can...

* Have a load of washing completed
* Completed the grocery shopping
* Cleaned the bathrooms
* Washed the floor
* Made dinner for the hungry crowd
* Watched an episode of my favourite TV show
* Read a few of chapters from a book 

Not too bad a list and I am sure that you could easily add to this!  However, in just 30 minutes I can start my day on an absolute high.  Before you does not include coffee either!


By doing one simple thing that will put you in a better frame of mind than any chocolate or coffee hit can ever do.  It will get you excited about facing the day and the future.  It will bring you peace and comfort in times of despair.  It will raise hopes, dissipate fear, settle the voices in your head and help you to look forward.  

What is it you ask?

You do require just a couple of things...mp3 player, headphones and walking shoes.  Take 30 minutes out of your day in the morning, tune in to your favourite Christian music and start walking.  The earlier the better, in summer I find around 6am is just perfect.  The feeling of the filtered sunshine of a new day on your face, listening to the birds, seeing that early morning fog and taking just 30 short minutes to spend with God.  It is a glorious time.   A time to listen quietly with no demands from the family, no phones, no interruptions, no work - just you and Him.

I know for some getting up early is a struggle and not all of us are 'morning people'.  For me, I am finding this the best 30 minutes of my day.  If you see me out being dragged around the streets by two fluffy white puppy dogs with smiles on their faces too, simply wave and I apologise for my singing in advance :)


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