When the hurt and sadness overwhelms

The tears well up until the eyes cannot hold them back any longer. You sit curled up in the corner of your room, clinging to the last ounce of self-worth that is in you.  In your mind you are wishing, longing, hoping that what is happening is not real.  That somehow you will wake up and this will all have been a dream.... a bad dream.

Life is not always easy.  I recently watched my son go through a relationship breakdown.  It was heartwrenching as a parent to watch this precious child of yours who you love with all your heart, crumble as the one they loved so dearly, pulls away from them.  You watch them like a hawk, anxiously monitoring their moves, their mood and their headspace. You can see and feel their pain.  You wish you could take it away and bear it on their behalf.  However you know that they must endure this to grow.  When they emerge, they will be stronger, more resilient and will have connected more with their inner self than ever before.  What he thought he wanted was gone.  As the days and weeks passed by, I cried an ocean of tears for my boy.  I wanted to scoop him up like I did when he was little and scrapped his leg.   To wrap my arms around him and tell him it will be okay.  There were moments when I did.  Times when he was so broken and the emotions so raw and deep, that all he wanted was comfort.  Nights where I hovered in protection mode, cuddled him in the lowest times and encouraged him to replace the negative thoughts with those of a positive future.

A few years ago a sudden change on the job front was the trigger for me.  Unemployed and struggling to come to terms with what I had deemed an utter and disasterous failure on my behalf.  I blamed myself for so much and thought that I had absolutely nothing to offer this world.  Now, I am so passionate about a new direction for my life that I cannot wait for the day to start and am full of excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead.

If you are struggling right now in your life, hang on.   Triggers can be relationship breakdowns, loss of your job, death of a loved one, feelings of hopelessness and many more.   Whatever you face, I am here to tell you there is hope, there is a light shining and leading the way.  

However, to reach the other side you must take action.  You have to fight.  This battle is against your mind and while you allow it to keep you in the negative, the darkness has won.  I shared with my son how I beat the darkness and I would love to share it with you.   It takes courage and determination but it can be done...

1.  LET GO - one of the hardest things to do but it is the only way you can move forward.  You have to come to the point where you let go of the past.  To do this, you may need to remove reminders that twist the knife until you are stronger.   This might be a gift or photo that just brings back the hurt and reminds you constantly of what was.   In some cases, you may need to cut communication channels with those who are at the centre of the hurt.  The more your think about them or try to remain in contact, the longer the hurt stays.  Accept that in our lives there are seasons and some seasons must pass.  Look forward and focus on the future rather than trying to hang on to the fragments of yesterday.

2.  FORGIVE - over time learn to forgive those who hurt you.  Understand that forgiveness gives you freedom and release.  It helps you to move past the hurt, the grief, the pain and find a new perspective on life.

3.  BE POSITIVE - fill your world with positivity and surround yourself with people and things that are positive in your life.  Hang with your friends, kick back with your favourite music, pull out that long forgotten favourite hobby and get back into it.   Replace what was with what can be. 

4. CHERISH FAMILY & FRIENDS - your precious friends are here to help and support you.  Sometimes they will tell you things you don't want to hear.  They will be honest with you and they do it to help you.  Take on board what they tell you.

5.  BELIEVE - that God did not put you on this earth to be miserable.  He wants you to be fulfilled and loving life.  However, he knows that there will come times when you will be challenged and you may end up questioning yourself on the deepest level.  From challenging times comes growth.  This is when we can truely discover ourselves and what we are capable of.    God allows you to experience the lows for he knows that it is from these points that we learn the most, we grow and we allow him to mould us.  I remember coming to a point where I said 'enough' and I made a promise to myself that I would not allow self-pity, fear, self-doubt to rule my life any longer.  I believed I was made for greater things than that and this was my time to rise from the ashes like a Phoenix and fly higher than ever before.

6.  SEEK HELP - if you are feeling overwhelmed by all that has happened and are struggling to pick up the pieces and rebuild, seek professional help.  Do not be ashamed to admit that you cannot do this on you own.  Having a non-biased professional to talk with can be one of the best things for releasing the pain, the hurt and overcoming the underlying issues that are keeping you in the pit of despair.

A few months on and I have a different child.  My son is returning and I can see a spring in his step, a cheekiness in his smile and the spark is there in his eyes.  It has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride but I am so proud of how he has worked through his feelings, the emotion and come out the otherside with a positive outlook for his future.    I cannot express how amazed I am at his transformation from misery to happiness.

You can too...just hang on, trust that you will come through this and if you need it, please, please, please,  seek professional help to work through the thoughts, emotions and get strategies on how to cope through this season of change.

Love,

When the blessings flow

Life is not always easy or as we think it should be.   If I was totally honest, I would have said that at 45, I would be soaking up rays on a beach in the carribean, being served by Daniel Craig, while George Clooney massages my feet.  Oh, and did I mention not having to be anywhere at anytime?  Reality is, I am sitting at a desk in rural Queensland, cooking my own meals and still running from one end of town to the other doing family things, work stuff and whatever else is thrown at me.  Not quite the same.

Regardless, the blessings flow.  God has granted me good health, two wonderful sons who are generous, gentle and sensitive.  A husband who tolerates my many mad ideas, lets me run with them and reigns me in if getting too 'out there'.  He is supportive, encouraging and many years ago contributed to 'releasing the monster' from within the shy, timid young woman who had no self confidence.

Image source: bookbabie.com

My family amaze me.  Their resilience during tough times, their faith in God, their ability to see light in many dark situations, their humour and the amazing times we have together.  The days and nights of laughter that would see many being taken to the lunatic asylum, instead I recall these as some of the best times.

Friends...that over the years are more like family.  Those who no matter how long between visits, it only feels like yesterday.  The friends that you can openly share over a cuppa the joy, laughter and tears.  The friends who know how it feels to struggle with parenting and worrying that you have stuffed it all up.  The friends who are prepared to question you, challenge you and at the same time stand beside you during the bad days.

I am blessed.  Today, I thank God for all the blessings that he has poured out on my life.  I also ask for forgiveness for when I fail to see to wonderful people that he has put before me and take them for granted.  Life is so much more than just about material things.  It is about people.  Those precious human beings that come in to our lives, contribute so much and then unfortunately, we say goodbye.  In some cases the goodbye is way too soon.  Other times, we are given many years together where moments become cherished memories.

Take the time today to thank God for the people he has placed in your life.  I truely believe that not one person is before you without his touch.  Just stop and say thanks, for you are blessed.

Love,

 

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

All I Ever Have to Be

Have you ever wondered what your purpose on earth is?  Have you ever really tried to understand why God made you the way you are?  I have, I do and have been doing so for the past few years.

As a child I had dreams, many of which where played out in childhood games.  I believe these dreams are our deepest desires coming to the surface.  It could be marriage and kids, travel, adventure or performing to the masses, whatever it was, it is part of you.

Over the past 3 years, I have asked myself lots of questions. Some I have found answers for and others, well, I am still searching and analysing.  Last night as I cooked tea for my hungry tribe, some words of a song that I haven't heard for years, came into the head.  "All I ever have to be is what you made me" - a song by Amy Grant from my years of youth.  Wow, where on earth did that come from?  It then dawned on me.  That is my answer.  

I now start to realise that I don't have to be what everyone else expects me to be.  I don't have to comply with what others may suggest is the right thing for me.  I don't have to be a certain way, I don't have to act like this or that.  What I do need to do is to be me.  Simply, utterly, completely me.  Just the way that God intended.  Where that leads, what comes as part of that journey is absoutely, totally fine.  

Being authentic and true to yourself is not always easy, particularly when you question who 'you' are.  For some of us, it can be a lifelong search and I think there is the risk that we will miss so much if we keep our head in this space for too long.  We will miss the magic of moments, the joy of life and the beauty that surrounds us in the form of family, friends and life in general. 

Sometimes I think we search too hard for answers.  We feel the need to be able to see years ahead but that is not real.  We can plan for the future and anticipate what might happen however,  we will never be able to see everything that lies ahead.  If your quest to discover yourself is in full steam or just leaving the station, can I ask you to do one thing?  Take a seat near the window and remember to look out and enjoy the view.  At every station, get out, stretch your legs and immerse yourself in your surroundings.  Whatever you do, don't stay sitting in your carriage wishing that you could be part of what was going on outside.  Stop over analysing and actually accept that all you have to be is who God made you to be. 

Regards,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Meltdown Moments

I will be the first to admit it.  Coffee is my friend.  It may not be my best friend but it sure comes close some days.  You know the ones, the days where simply opening your eyes is a chore.  The ones that you can feel from the moment your feet hit the floor that it is going to be like bootcamp for the next 16 hours until you're comfortably curled up in bed once again.

It is in these days that I find solace at the bottom of the cup.  Now sometimes it is not really days, perhaps mere moments where everything becomes too much.  Where rescuing just one more odd sock from the jaws of the dog is too much.  Days when the shop assistant really should have offered you a neck and shoulder massage rather than informing you that a carrier pidgeon would have a better chance of getting that urgent order here on time.

We all have meltdown moments where the smallest thing is disasterous, the world as you know it has no meaning and that rock in your backyard looks like the best place to crawl under and hide from the rest of the world.  It is easy to lose your cool and you pity the poor person who is in the wrong place at the wrong time, for they are on the receiving end of an outburst of frustration that would put you as a hot contender for an Oscar.

It's okay.  These moments happen and sometimes they are spectacular.  Whatever the reason, whatever the frustration, whatever the problem, while it may knock you down you need to get back up.   From one who has been there, accept that you have had your 'meltdown moment',  gather yourself and rise above.  Now, for my family it means pour mum a coffee, give her space and eventually she will be mum again.

Cheers,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Coffee warms the heart

If you know me you know I love coffee. From one who only started drinking coffee a few years ago, I now love the smell, taste and a good strong coffee is divine. Recently, I was blessed to spend some precious time with a long-time girlfriend over a cup of coffee. It was simply wonderful to sit, chat and then do a little retail therapy on a laid back Friday afternoon.

We live in the same town, our children have spent time together and our friendship goes back 25+ years. Yet our moments together are too few. The weeks of life trundle past and still no coffee and chat. It seems ridiculous to be so close and yet spend so little time together. I know we have families, work, house and everything else that makes up a busy life however, surely there is more catchup time available.

Looking back it was one of the best Friday afternoons I have had in a long time. NO rush, no work just a casual and relaxed cuppa with a friend. If you are feeling disconnected from life and needing more time with friends. Pick up the phone, text or phone and set that coffee time. It will warm the heart and the world can wait.

Love,

 

 

 

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Source: wallpaperpassion.com via Lynnelle on Pinterest

Tears of a mother

Breathe.  Regain composure and face the day ahead.  Today, is a tough one with a wave of emotions coming to the surface and struggling to keep them at bay.  Tears of a mother...one who is so concerned about the future of her child that it is constantly in her mind.  

He is finding his way and enduring the challenge of securing employment in a town where there is not much on offer for his age and skill set.  Today as I opened my devotion and searched for wisdom for this journey, the words were very clear.

"The privilege of motherhood", "Awesome responsibility" and "No greater ministry than that of being a mother".  Sounds pretty overwhelming and at this moment, it feels that way too.

If I didn't care so much, the tears wouldn't be there.  This precious child who has so much to offer this world, that has consumed 19 years of my life, has brought such joy to our lives...is bringing tears to my eyes.

I never expected in my wildest dreams that this age and stage of his life would be so hard.  You just want to share your knowledge and wisdom from years of living in an effort to help them come to their fullest potential.  However, they need to want to receive it.

My prayer... that my precious son finds the direction and opportunities that he needs to create a life that is full of love and laughter.  May he find happiness in relationships, fulfillment, confidence and a career that he just 'fits' into and feels passionate about.

As the tears fall once again, I will seek comfort in that God knows what lies ahead and that he will provide the wisdom and a guiding hand through these challenging days.

Cheers,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Unconditionally

Frustration sets in and can be followed with anger and general unhappiness.  When we decided to have children, it would have been nice if  the 'a how-to guide to successful parenting' was provided and customised to each individual child.  While those toddler years were exhausting, the teenage ones are not much better.  Yes, I am not having to get up through the night to deal with feeding or crying children instead, my mind fills with worry about my children and every parents wish that they, the children, could see what we see after forty plus years of experience.  

As the mother of 19 and 15 year old boys, I find these past couple of years challenging as they are moving towards independence and of course, what would parents know.  At this age, they share their opinion, challenge authority and seek a carefree life away from rules.  Reality (as parents know), is that life is far from carefree.  There is always responsibility that comes with independence.  There is always a trade-off and decision made will bring either good or bad consequences.

I love my boys and thank God for them, the joy, the tears and the frustration that comes from being a parent.  Life would not be as full if they were not here.  This makes me think about God and his children.  How many times do you think he raises palm to forehead and says "Doh!", when we don't or won't listen to him. The frustration, the tears, the sadness when we forget to listen and instead go our own selfish way through this world.  His heart breaks every time we put him last, forget to have that devotion, leave him out of decisions and then make a poor choice that lands us in hot water.  I can see him sitting on his throne, shaking his head and saying, 'why don't they just listen for I know the answer".

The most amazing thing about being a parent is that no matter what your child does (or doesn't do), no matter how far they stray, no matter the hurt you feel, you will always love them - unconditionally.   God is the same.  He sacrificed his only son so that we could be his children and call him Father.  Never does he give up on us.  Never does he stop loving us.  Never will he leave us.  Never....never...never.

It doesn't mean that we should take him for granted for one day we have to answer to God just as we expect our children to answer to authority.  As a parent, I feel I  have missed the mark at times however, through his mercy, I can seek forgiveness.  That same forgiveness, needs to be applied to my children too. 

I remember when they were little I would sweep them up in my arms, smothering them with kisses - these are memories that will never be forgotten.  God is ready to sweep you up in his arms too.  To give you the warmest of cuddles and a kiss on the forehead that lets you know that all is okay and you are loved no matter what you have done.

Unconditional love.  It knows no boundaries, it never ceases, it never gives up.  I can only pray that I provide to my children the same level of unconditional love that my Father shows me.

Cheers,

 

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Days of Doubt

I'm not good enough for this!  Ever said that to yourself?  Have you ever doubted your abilities, potential, strength, courage?  I can tell you that I definately have and at times, still do.  I have my ups and downs - days of doubt - when you are convinced that you are working well outside your zone and just want to crawl back into that safe, comfortable spot where life just trundles along and you feel at ease with all that you have to do.

What I have come to realise is that with God, there is no safe zone.  He will challenge you and make you step into areas that are unfamiliar, uncomfortable and certainly at the time, unwanted.  Every aspect in you life he can choose to challenge you with.  These challenges are not to be feared but to be welcomed.  Why?  For it is through the tough, uncomfortable, unfamiliar times, that God teaches you to have self-belief, to have courage, to have strength, to have trust and most of all to have faith that he knows best.  

We cannot survive on our own.  Without faith, I would have crumbled some time ago and it is this faith that enables you to face the fiercest of battles, the strongest of foes and the days of doubt.  Faith that someone, bigger and stronger than you already knows the outcome.  He knows how long you will endure it, he knows the doubt you will feel, he knows that the tears will be there and with his strength, you will come out the other side.

For many the battle may be only beginning, for others you may be in the midst of it all and feeling overwhelmed.  Stand firm, believe, trust and have faith that God, the same God that calmed the seas and healed the sick, is standing beside you - he has your back!   Face those days of doubt head on and work through the challenge one day at a time.

Love,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Need to Breathe

I recently took a few days away from my business to reset and refocus.  The world seemed to be spinning fast lately and I needed to slow down and chill - just for a moment.  I needed to breathe.  My head was full of questions and no answers.  Over the past few weeks, I have found myself questioning (again) my purpose, my path and my legacy.  I had been feeling like the weeks, months and years are flying by and I am not making progress but wasting hours.  

Perhaps it is the fresh, spring weather here that has prompted these thoughts.  I see such glorious days and feel that there is more to life than what I am experiencing.  My mind wanders back to what now feels like 'days of freedom'  where much time was spent hanging out with friends, slipping away for weekends and enjoying this magnificent world.  These days seem so far behind now.  Yes, our life changed, we had two beautiful sons and have enjoyed watching them grow up however, now the days are calling for more.

More of what?  I don't know.  I challenge my own thoughts - those of relocating and moving away in the hope of finding a fresh and exciting new life.  Dreams of having an amazing business that provides high levels of self-fulfillment and purpose.  A life where I find contentment, peace and one where I feel so richly blessed by the love of God, my family and feel 'at home'.   However, the more I think, the more confused I feel.  

In a devotion the other day, I told God that I needed  a big neon sign right about now that says, 'This Way' - just to confirm that I am on the right track.  About the same time, my devotion was talking about the importance of family - "Cherish the time in your home with the ones you love.  Your family - not your career, your hobby, your ministry, even your friends - is to be a top priority.....realise the importance of keeping your home safe and warm - a haven for your family."   Once again, God has stopped me in my steps and challenged my thoughts.  Gotta love him when he throws something complete random into the mix - staying at home was never on my to-do list.

What about you?  Are you struggling to breathe in this fast-paced, demanding world?  Take the time to ask God to show you where you need to be however, be prepared that the answer may not be what you are expecting.  His plan and his timing is perfect so if you are having the 'great debate' in your mind, have faith that while there may not be all the answers right now, the answers will come.

Love,

Need a guest speaker?  Read more about how you can engage Lynnelle to speak at your next womens event www.lynnellerichardson.com.au

Worth the Fight

Life is tough...it's not what you had thought it would be. You are angry, you are frustrated, you are unhappy in some part or maybe all of your life. Ask yourself why? What changed?? It wasn't always this hard. There had been years of easy times, not perfect, just easier. Remember back to when you had a smile to share and laughter filled your soul. When the pressures and challenges were manageable and less often. Those days are still there you just can't see them at the moment.

As we grow older, the challenges appear to be more frequent and stronger. We look back to years of youth thinking how wonderful they were and wishing that life was that simple once again. However, we can't live in the past what we have to deal with is the now. The now may be hard, it may hurt but you have the power to rise to the challenge and fight for what you want in this life. Perhaps a relationship is breaking down, perhaps the job is coming to an end, perhaps the kids are screaming and you wonder how on earth you ever ended up in this mess. These times just seem to happen and can come from what appears to be nowhere. It could be a sudden, unexpected change or it could be a series of little niggles that has turned into a festering, ugly situation where there appears to be no hope.

You are worth the fight. Your relationship is worth the fight. Your children are worth the fight. Stand up and claim the goodness that God has for you. The happiness that awaits you once again. Grab hold of what brings joy to your heart or a smile to your face. One moment, every day - remember it, claim it. Fight.

Fight against the mindset that we are fed continually or that negativity that has crept in over the years. No more will you let heartache, anger, sorrow, worry or frustration rule your life. Perhaps you and your attitude needs to change to find that peace again. Our mind can control our hearts and we have to ensure that we are being reasonable in our expectations, accept that we are not always right, we are human, we have faults and that it takes compromise and compassion.

No matter what you are facing today, there is hope. God has the power and the strength to see this one through, even when you don't. God doesn't want you to live a miserable life - he wants only the best for you however it is up to us to accept this, embrace it and run with that belief in our hearts.

New Eyes To See

Often we fail to see what is right in front of us. We are so caught up in our own small part of the world that we lose sight of the struggles that surround us. In 2012, may I see the needs in those around me. Please Lord, give me new eyes to see!

Brand New Day

I am not perfect, never was and never will be. However, no matter what happened yesterday, the day before, two years ago, twenty years ago, it doesn't matter today. Today is a brand new day! Every sin, worry, anxiety, upset no longer comes into play as I open my eyes to greet a new morning. I am making a conscious decision not to worry or be anxious about what could be. From this point forward I am working on what is and not the what if.

How? I am forgiven. Not by just anyone, but by God. The only one who can forgive me for all past hurts and my faults (of which there are many). Today, I am feeling blessed that I can face a new year with vigor and excitement as my future is full of endless opportunities. It will be another full year as I wave goodbye to my eldest son as he leaves the nest, watch another son graduate from Year 10, pursue some dreams, support my husband, celebrate my parents 40th Anniversary and share precious moments with family and friends.

So celebrate the arrival of 2012 with me where dreams can come true, wrongs are forgotten and an abundance of love is shared all round!